I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
When are your genitals available?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
