can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
