I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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