Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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