Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
