dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
