Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
he had hair everywhere except his balls
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
