From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
