Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
