Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Pants are for mortals
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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