He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
