I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
