I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
