you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
