then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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