and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
