i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
bring money and cleavage
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
