i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
All I want is dick and wine.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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