I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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