I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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