You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
