Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
dude. I can hear the air.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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