Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
