And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just gift wrapped bread.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
