you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
