omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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