I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
