they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
