oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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