Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
