OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
