i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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