Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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