Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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