He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
