My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
