I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
