You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
