How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
