so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
