Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
