so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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