Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
