Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
