Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
