She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
