This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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