i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
