u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
