the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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