Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
