Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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